I been trying to find the best way to talk about what I'm been going though, I was trying to figure out how to control it and how I will handle it ,it is hard to talk about to people it is very hard to even come out and tell someone that the way u feel it think is not normal; I try my best to keep it from people and my family putting on an smile and laughing when sometime u just want to cry and scream and I know I'm not a person that get angry really fast or get angry at all but sometimes it come out and I can't hold it back and when I do I get angry at that.
Growing up if u bring up being bipolar it was an excuse of just wanted to be yelling or if u bring up depression it was an excuse for being lazy or not wanted to do nothing, it was never nothing to it, to say it real because it was a excuse.
I didn't know what I was going though I thought I was going thru menopause or something I didn't know; my mom was the one who told me, asking me what hung on and me explaining to her how I feel about everything she told me I should go and see someone about it, I do feel embarrassed but she comfort me and even cry with me, I knew I was feeling some way and didn't know why but I know I didn't want it to be and excuse: going to get check and talk to me doctor I did found out I had bipolar depression after looking it up and seeing some of what people was going though it was scary I was scared I didn't want to go though that ,really feeling like why ate u here and what the point of living is the most terrifying thing in the world, there really no one that can help and I really can't explain it to others because sometimes it just an because feeling I really can't control it even when I want to I can't it pain my heart that I really have no control over my thoughts sometimes and actions, it like even if I want to smile or laugh or be me who I use to be I cry more.
MY GETTING BETTER
I am getting better with my emotions and how to control them, everyday don't try to gather all of my thoughts to much and think to much of how I should be, it can hard and a little struggle but i with the help of my mom and talking to someone I go about my day and try to live as clean mind as I can. I try to not thinking of it as and excuse anymore.
1 comment:
Livin with any kind of disorder us scary you don't kno wat to come of how you feel or where it's comin from, with tne help you recievein it helps but you never get over it but it helps that so.eone is there to listen and brin you through. Love you mi child😮😮😮😮😱
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